I know many of you struggle with physical eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia but is your spiritual life also disordered? There is a book that I have recommended on the Speak Don’t Bleed website called “Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves” by Erin Davis. As I was reading through this book, something stuck out to me. In the book Erin talks about our beauty and how it’s affected by media. Erin talks about her struggle with a distorted self image. One of the chapters in the book is about Eating Disorders. One thing stuck out in this chapter of the book…in the chapter Erin parallels physical eating disorders with spiritual ones! So I wanted to devote this devotional to talking about how we can have a spiritual eating disorder and what we can do to be spiritually well nourished.

Spiritual Bulimia

In the book, Erin asks these questions that I think we all need to consider…“Do you binge on Jesus? Do you get filled up at camp or weekend retreats or on Sunday morning and then purge so that you can live the life you want to live? Instead of getting a steady dose of Christ through His Word, do you count on filling feasts of God every once in a while?”

We need to be constantly fed through God’s word, prayer, worship, and fellowship with other believers. This will give us the proper Spiritual nourishment that our mind, bodies and hearts need!

So consider this, are you a spiritual bulimic? What steps do you need to take to make sure you are getting spiritual nourishment?

Spiritual Anorexia (Col. 1:9-11)

Consider these questions, “Do you starve yourself of Jesus altogether? Do you go weeks and months without seeking Him in prayer, fellowshipping with other Christians, or digging into the Word? ”

I don’t know about you but I have had this experience. I have just gotten away from God. Let me tell you, missing one day of spending quiet time with God can throw you off and that one day can turn into a few days and then weeks. We need to be consistently, daily in the Word of God so that we can come to know Him more. He is our Father! What would happen if you didn’t spend time with your earthly father? You feel like you don’t really know him and you aren’t developing that relationship with him, well that’s the same way it is with God!

Are you a spiritual anorexic? How will you take action and get your spiritual nourishment?

Spiritual Stress Eating

“Are you a crisis pray-er who runs to Jesus only when the going gets tough? Do you neglect Him when life is smooth but seek Him with urgency when the road gets rocky?

So many of us struggle with this one, don’t we? We just go to God when things get tough or when we need His help. But is this really growing a relationship with your Heavenly Father? How would you feel if your friend just came to you when they needed help and didn’t talk to you any other time?

So are you a spiritual stress eater? What action will you take to grow in your relationship with God?

Just like physical eating disorders can destroy your body, spiritual eating disorders can keep you from having the kind of relationship with God that God desires for us to have.

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Interview with Erin Davis about her life experiences and her book “Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves”.

1. What was your purpose in writing the book "Graffiti"?

"Graffiti" was originally written as a Bible study for a small group of girls I mentored. One of the girls in the group said that she would really like to learn how to feel better about her body. I started doing some research and couldn't find a resource that approached the issue with the depth and Biblical insight that I knew was necessary. So, I wrote my own study. That six-week study changed my life. It changed the lives of the girls in that small group, and God has been so faithful to multiply that message. Ultimately, my desire is to see young women understand their value from God's perspective. They can do that by really digging into His Word to see what He has to say about their value. It isn't as simple as "God loves you just the way you are." But He does love you, He did create you purposefully, and He does dedicate a lot of time in His Word to assuring you of your value. My purpose is to use those assurances found in Scripture to help girls develop a sense of value that isn't shaken by the world's standards or the opinions of others.

2. What has been the biggest struggle in your life and how have you overcome?

"Graffiti" is really the depths of my heart written down for all of the world to read. By far, my biggest struggle has been to see that I have value that isn't dependent on what I weigh, what I accomplish, or what others think of me. That struggle has manifested in many different ways in my life including destructive relationship patterns, self-hatred, and disordered eating. Even though I accepted Christ at the age of 15, I still spent years battling anxiety and frustration because I didn't understand my value. It wasn't until I really began to study the Word of God that I found freedom in this area. It really didn't matter what others told me about how God saw me, I needed to read it myself. God's Word truly is living and active. Once I started reading that living Word and discovered all that God says about me, those chains really started falling off.

3. What advice would you give to girls who are struggling with their relationship with God and understanding their worth to Him?

Read His Word, read His Word, read His Word! That seems like a simple solution for me just to say "read your Bible more," but I truly believe that His Word has the power to free us like nothing else does. Start reading it with the specific intention of learning what it says about you. It is no overstatement to say that from Genesis to Revelation, God declares your value to Him. I would also encourage you to be very careful what alternate messages your allow into your heart. Everyone knows that the World is pushing for a standard of beauty that isn't real. But that doesn't keep us from striving for it does it? Obviously we can't hide in a hole and never see another airbrushed model again. But you can take some steps to guard your heart. Did you know that 70 percent of the women who look at fashion magazines reported feeling depressed, guilty, and ashamed of their bodies after less than five minutes of flipping through the pages of those magazines? Additional research has linked exposure to the unrealistically thin, young, and often airbrushed female bodies consistently portrayed in the media to depression, loss of self-esteem, and the development of eating disorders in women of all ages. That doesn't seem like harmless entertainment! Make a conscience effort to get rid of as much of the World's beauty messages as you can. That may mean that some magazines, television shows, or movies need to go, but I promise it is worth it! Finally, I would encourage girls to find a mentor who loves the Lord and can be a truth speaker when they are wresting with something. I have had mentors in my life ever since I came to know Christ and they have had a huge impact in my development of a women seeking to know and please the Lord. Believe it or not, your mom might be a great mentor (she wasn't always your momma, she has been where you are!) If not, a friend's mom might be great. Or your pastor or youth pastor's wife might be a good fit. Just find a woman who is faithfully serving Christ, is committed to the Truth found in His Word and who you wouldn't mind sharing a few cups of coffee with. And then...get talking!

(This devotional blog was written by Amber)

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Hey Girls! I’m so excited for the opportunity to write this month’s devotional! Since trusting God was a topic for a chat we had a few weeks ago and since many of you seemed to really be encouraged by the Overcome video that I recently posted on the forum, I thought I’d combine the two to tell you a little about my experience with both. For those of you who have watched the video (and for those of you who haven’t I’ve attached it below) you know that my church over the last two years has endured scandal, murder and terror…and it all happened within the span of 13 months. It started with waking up one morning to find my pastor plastered all over the media and our church, the top headline on just about every newspaper and TV site nation-wide. The details that follow were grueling and are still sometimes hard for me to talk about because the trauma continued for so long before resolution came. But in that moment…in the midst of grief and pain, I had a life-changing decision to make. Would I walk away from the anguish and humiliation we were walking through as a church and find another place to call my house of worship, or would I, with my church family, walk through the valley pained with trauma and fear of not knowing what was to come? I had no idea how long it would take before the trauma ended…I certainly never dreamed it to be a full 13 months, nor did I have any idea that a year into it a gunman would come into our building right after services and murder two of our teenage girls. I’m actually thankful that I didn’t know how long it would endure when I internally agreed to walk it out because I don’t know if I would have made it. But all I could do is walk through one awful day at a time convicted deep inside somewhere by the fact that we were a family, and families stick together. 

Through it all, I was in a way forced to lean on God for my strength, because I certainly didn’t have enough on my own. 

But I’ll tell you what…I found a new capacity and depth of trusting God during that 13 months than I‘ve ever known before. It took huge faith for me to believe that the humiliation we faced, the reputation that was destroyed, the pain we endured would somehow dissipate and that one day God would lift us out of that place and allow us influence once more. And it was by no means an instant process.  A few weeks ago, we experienced the 1 year mark since the shooting and while we’ve healed as a church tremendously, many of us are still walking through the pain on a personal level, trying to decipher how we can ever trust another human, another pastor after such deception for so long. And how you can ever know if a person is truly who they claim to be if the person with the most Christian influence in your life who, in my case had been my pastor for over a decade, had been leading a double life.

How do you trust then? 

One of the biggest things we’ve learned as a church is to not put our trust in man, but in God and God alone. And I think that’s something we have to learn on a personal level over time and by experience, but if I can in any way encourage you and bring you a long a little farther so that perhaps you don’t have to experience quite as much pain as I have to get there, I beg you to learn from my experience.

See…it was out of our pain that the song “Overcome” was written and has since become the anthem over our church. Taken from Rev. 12:11, it says, “We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony…everyone overcome!” And I believe the family and core people at our church have done that. It completely amazes me to go to church on Sundays and still see thousands of people gathering to worship God, because according to statistics, with all that happened,  our building should be closed down and used for storage. But God had more in mind
and how thankful I am. 
    

You too can overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony.

Prov 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” On another worship song (I’m a big fan of worship if you can’t tell) it says, “Here in your presence, everything bows before you.” And as I’ve thought about it during this season of life, it’s become a very comforting concept to me. Think about it…EVERYTHING bows before God…all circumstances, all relationships, all situations…your work, your family, your schooling…all your hopes, your fears, your dreams…the mountains, the seas…your pain, your emotions, your desires to self-harm...everything.

Ultimately EVERYTHING must bow before the name of Jesus.

And when I start to think about all that ‘everything’ includes, I find great comfort. I encourage you girls also, to begin thinking about everything in your life that must bow before Christ. Maybe make a list, surrendering them each individually to God. Recently I’ve found myself laying prostrate on my living room floor telling God (and reminding myself) that everything in my life bows before Him. If you’d like, I’d love for you to join me in doing the same. I think it’s a process…a constant proclaiming to God and reminder to ourselves as we let the truth sink deep into our hearts and lives. I would love for you girls to join me in this journey of trusting God. It’s tough…you must be willing to risk it all. But I promise you it’s worth it.

Lay your life before Him, allowing everything to bow before His name. And together, let’s everyone, overcome!

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You can find the Overcome Video on Youtube by following these links:

Overcome Story....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9yoKNzBq3g

Overcome Song....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sjYWrpNoCs

How much am I worth? Am I worthless? How do I stop feeling like I am? Why do I feel like a piece of trash? I asked those questions frequently growing up. I was convinced that no one cared about me, that I was unlovable and I felt like a peice of trash, or even some days lower than a piece of trash! It turns out that believing I was that piece of trash completely made me worthless in a sense because while I was believing all those lies in my mind, I was becoming a girl that was sitting on the sidelines of my faith and my relationship with God. Because I was so "me-focused" (and yes, when you are so involved in telling yourself how worthless you are...you truly are "me-focused") I was unable to be "God-focused". What God desired for my life was being overshadowed by my own false self defeating thoughts and perceptions. So where do those thoughts come from and how do we counteract those negative (and simply untrue) perceptions about ourselves? How do we become "God-focused" instead of "Me-focused"? I hope and pray that you will discover God's view of you and that you will commit to embracing that.

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What does God have to say about my worth?

In Matthew 6:25-26 it talks about God's love and provision for us. 

"Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

So I ask you this, if indeed you really are worthless...why would an Almighty God choose to provide for you? He provides for the smallest bird because He values His creation. You are part of His creation and it says here that your worth to Him is so much more than the birds! In fact your worth to Him led Him to die a cruel death on a cross for you and then conquer death by rising from the dead, so that you could have life. So how can you think that someone who would die for you and give up His own life for yours, thinks you are worthless? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense does it.

Many things can influence our perceptions of our self worth. But why waste your life away, struggling to feel good about yourself when all you need to do is commit to look to Truth. Every circumstance that has led you to feel horrible about yourself, every negative, self defeating thought that enters your mind will dim in light of God's Truth. You just need to practice counteracting those lies with God's truth and the way to do this is to get into God's Word, the bible and search for yourself. Later on in the Matthew passage above, it gives a clear picture of what we need to do to defeat those self defeating thoughts that come into our minds....it says in verse 33...

"But seek first His Kingdom and his righeousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

God loves to bless His children. He loves to pour out His love on us. He will go above and beyond for you, but the only way those thoughts are gonna be turned around is if you seek Him first and believe His truth. It's a choice and it takes an active willingness to turn to truth and be free to be yourself instead of live in self hatred and misery your whole life. What are you going to choose?

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Below are some scriptures that I hope you will look up to get you started in learning to see yourself how God sees you.

Matthew 10:29-31: Worth more than sparrows

Matthew 13:45-46: Jesus would go and has gone to the ends of the earth for you because you are of great value to Him

John 3:16: He loves you so much that He chose to die for you.

Romans 8:31-38: "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

1 Peter 3:3-4: Beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit

Psalm 139: You are fearfully and wonderfully made...

 

 

 

 

There is a song out by singer/songwriter Twila Paris (it's been out since the 90's) called "Do I Trust You". If you have never heard it, you really need to. Everytime I hear it, it is a challenge and reminder to me. Do I really trust God? I mean, I say I do, but do I really?

There are times in life when�things in our life don't happen exactly like we have planned�and we wonder where was God during that time in our lives? Why didn't He stop the pain? All those thoughts come into our minds and all of those thoughts are from Satan, trying to get us to doubt what we know to be true of God. We need to make sure that we aren't just "trusting" God in the good times but that we are truly trusting Him with EVERYTHING, good, bad and ugly! We need to trust Him that He has and always has had and always will have our best interest at heart, period.

There is a quote I have heard over and over that says..."God said it, I believe it, that settles it." That is what our lives should be. Our trust should be so strong and undoubting in God that when things go wrong, we look to Him and say "Lord you said it in your word, and I'm going to believe it as�truth, and let those truths be what drives me in my life." So are you trusting in God or do the situations in your life determine whether or not you trust Him? Do you trust Him with your everything?

Back when I was a teenager, I made Proverbs 3:5-6 my life verse and it needed to be my life verse, not because I was faithfully doing what the verse said either� but because I wasn't and sometimes I still struggle with it. It's a verse that I need to keep in front of me all the time.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

In my life, there have been many times when I have leaned on my own understanding and I've just ended up flat on my face, in deep despare and depression. There are times in life when things happen that we completely don't understand, that don't make sense to us. But I have realized how completely stupid we are when we don't trust God with all our heart and we lean on our understanding. I mean, think about it, the God of the universe who created you and me, created the trees, the flowers, the birds, the world, loved us enough to offer us a way to have a relationship with Him even though all we do is mess up in life...and we have the nerve to think that we know what is best for our lives. How ignorant and even self destructive is that way of thinking? Doesn't it make more sense that we trust God who has been through it all, seen it all, and conquered all? So where are you? Are you trusting in what you can see or are you trusting God, pure and simple, regardless of whether or not you understand? And later on in the passage, are you acknowledging him with your everything, are you making Him your everything? God is waiting to do something incredible in our lives, if you will only trust Him!

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Do I Trust You
words and music by Twila Paris

Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why
But I can never forget it for long
Lord, what You do could not be wrong
So I believe You even when I must cry

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind
And You've got to know
I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You Lord
When I don't know why
I will trust You, Lord,
'til the day I die
I will trust You, Lord,
When I'm blind with pain
You were God before and You'll� never change
I will trust You, I will trust You
I will trust You, Lord

This devotional is taken from a sermon that was preached by my pastor this past Sunday. I found it to be so helpful that I wanted to share it with you all. I have edited it a little bit from the original sermon (added new verses, ect) but the main lesson is the same.

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7 Steps Practicing Faith in Troubled Times

1. Recognize and Admit Your Need

In Psalm 18 it speaks of David, a man who was being pursued by a king who wanted to kill him. In this Psalm, David tells God exactly what His need is. I encourage you to read that chapter.

Psalm 18:4-6 says, “The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.”

Psalm 40 is also a chapter that you may want to check out.

2. Admit that God has the Solution to that Need

Psalm 27:1 says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?”

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble.”

3. Bring the Need to God through Prayer

Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

We need to come to Jesus with our everything not just when we have a need. We need to constantly be seeking Him and what He wants for us. He wants a close relationship with you.

4. Trust God to handle the Need

Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless, He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

*Let God do whatever He needs to do to fix the need even if it isn’t what we thought He should do or even if it’s not in our timetable, God knows best*

5. Take the need and cast it at Jesus’ feet

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast ALL your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.”

*Lay your burdens down and leave them at Jesus’ feet. Don‘t try to pick them up again but LEAVE them there. In other words, turn your trouble into God‘s trouble. Leave what seems to be hopeless and impossible in God‘s more than capable hands.*

6. Get out of the way

*Let God do His work*

7. Wait for God to fix the need

Psalm 37:34, “Wait for the Lord and keep His way…”

*God delights in doing what we think is impossible*

Sometimes waiting is tough but he commands us in Psalm 37:7:

“Be still before the Lord (rest in the Lord) and wait patiently for Him…”

Waiting doesn’t mean to simply wait, but God wants us to rest in Him while we wait, trusting that He has the answers.

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If you have any questions regarding this blog, please feel free to email me at speakdontbleed@yahoo.com.

This devo blog is about a fathers incredible love for his child which parellels to God's love for us. It was sent to me by a friend through email (author unknown) and I felt I had to share it. For those of us who have scars from self injury, let those scars be a reminder of a God who won't let go of you. Let them be a reminder that just as those cuts heal into scars, healing in your heart and soul is coming if you keep pursuing the Father in Heaven who loves you so much. For those who have been abused or are being abused, please know that God loves you and that He is holding you and crying and hurting with you and He won't let go. SCARS OF LIFE Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug of war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father but the father was much to passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, rached from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved. The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go." You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding onto you. The scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerus situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hold of life is filled with peril- and we forget that the enemy (Satan) is waiting to attack. That's when the tug of war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

 

What does it mean to follow God?

What does God desire from us when it comes to following Him?

Are we willing to surrender to what God has for our lives even when it doesn't make sense to us? 

These are challenging questions and I say challenging because I'm living them! God has been showing me so much about what it takes to fully trust Him with our lives. I'm not the most adventurous person so risks are not fun for me. Trusting anyone is not my strong suit either which makes it even more of a challenge. But thank God for His grace in our lives! A story in the bible that has hit me hard in the past few weeks is the story of the calling of Jesus' disciples. They were fisherman, tax collectors, ect. each had their occupation and I'm sure each of them had their own agenda's for what they wanted to see of their lives and who they wanted to become. And then in the life of these brothers named Simon and Andrew (fishermen) comes this man named Jesus and tells them to

"Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

Now if I were Simon or Andrew I'd be like "Who is this man and there is no way I'm going to follow Him!" But the bible doesn't say anything about them asking questions or anything like that. It says "AT ONCE they left their nets and followed Him." Now that's faith! That's Surrender! They left everything they had lived for, what they had trained for to follow Jesus. And God expects the same from each of us! He doesn't want us to give half of our lives to Him, He wants ALL of us! Every ounce of our being! Following Jesus won't always be easy, in fact, I think it seldom is easy but it's worth it! It takes denying of yourself...your wants, your desires, your goals for something greater...GODS wants and desires and goals for your life. In Luke 9:23 it says

"Then He (Jesus) said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Surrender requires faith! And true faith in God requires a willingness to give ALL! Are you willing???  Clay Crosse sings a song that is called "I Surrender All" and I wanted to share the lyrics with you.

I Surrender All

Written by: David Moffit and Reggie Hamm

I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay
down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all

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If you have any questions about this devotional or any questions about what it means to be a follower of Christ please email me at speakdontbleed@yahoo.com. I'd love for you to come into a relationship with God and have an understanding of who He is.

Many of ya'll have asked me essentially this....

Why does God allow bad things to happen in my life?

The bible says "His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts aren't our thoughts." Yet He is wiser than any of our foolishness. God loves us so much that yes, He does hurt when we hurt  and understands our pain, but He loves us enough to allow us to go through some really tough stuff because He has a purpose in it. He knows that many times we don't see the fullness of that purpose unless we struggle. Unless we go through the uncomfortable.

He doesn't like to see us suffer but sometimes we need a little suffering to see the big picture and help us to grow in Him. He provides a way of escape for us though, He provides the comfort we need to make it through the tough places. I encourage you to read Psalm 18. It is an awesome chapter in the bible. It starts out with this "The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled aroun d me; the snares of death confronted me." Have you ever felt that way? That your life was being taken from you. That the problems you faced were so horrible and huge that you just were in complete despair. And when we are in despair we ask God alot of "Why?" questions. Well continuing on in Psalm 18, verse 6, it says "In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into His ears." The question shouldn't be "Why is all this trouble happening to me? Why do you let bad things happen?" but rather "What do you want me to learn through this circumstance in my life? And how can I come through this with a different outlook on my life?"

The whole chapter of Psalm 18 comes from the experience of David in the bible and how Saul (the king) was chasing Him and out to kill David. David could have asked the "Why?" question but He used His bad experience to turn around and get the big picture on the situation. Yes, I'm sure he was scared, I'm sure He was desperate, I'm sure He was confused at why God allowed Him to be in this place at this time....but He went back to what He knew to be true of God and says in verse 32..."It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect....He enables me to stand on the heights.....You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn." God pushes us through trials and hard times to make us grow. To make us depend on Him. That's "Why?" as we would say He allows bad things to happen. He isn't a malicious God who is out to get us at every turn but He is a God of tremendous love and He knows what we need at any given time, even if it hurts! So next time you are struggling with something big in your life instead of asking God "Why is this happening?", ask Him..."What are you trying to teach me?" It's a hard thing to ask but the answer might just knock your socks off.

There is a song by Bebo Norman that I would love to share the lyrics with you...it talks about this very thing....It talks from the point of veiw of a nail being made, the same nail that was used to hold Jesus to the cross. That nail discovered His purpose but He has to wait on the Lord to figure out what that was. He had to go through the pain of being molded and in the end His purpose was so great.

The Hammer Holds

A shapeless piece of steel; that's all I claim to be. This hammer pounds to give me form; this flame it melts my dreams. I glow with fire and fury as I'm twisted like a vine. My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find.

So dream a little dream for me in hopes that I'll remain. And cry a little cry for me that I can bare the pain. And hurt a little hurt for me; my future is untold. But my dreams are not the issue here for Thee the hammer holds.

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt subdued somehow. I have my shape, this sharpened point; what is my purpose now? And the question, it still remains; What am I to be? Perhaps some perfect piece of art, displayed for all to see.

Well the hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel. This force that drives me helplessly through flesh and wood reveals a burn that burns much deeper; it's more than I can stand. The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man.

So dream a little dream for me in hopes that I'll remain. And cry a little cry for me that I can bear the pain. And hurt a little hurt for me; my future is so bold. But my dreams are not the issue here, for Thee the hammer holds. This task before may seem unclear but this my Maker holds.

If you have any questions about this blog, please feel free to comment here or email me at speakdontbleed@yahoo.com.